Monday, August 3, 2009

Eff You, Diabetes.

I went for my yearly eye exam Friday and I can still see. Whew! I mean, I couldn't see when I left their office thanks to having my eyes dilating. Fun...let a blind blonde go driving around Vegas. Yay! One of the most fantastic things to hear is ‘I do not see any signs of diabetes. Whatever you are doing is the right thing.’ Thanks, Dr. Carr, thanks.

Take THAT, diabetes!!

Yes, I am hating diabetes right now, in a big way. I mean, I’m not a fan of it normally; but sometimes it gets to me more than others. Here are a few ‘Eff you, Diabetes’ moments I'd like to share.

Eff You Diabetes....

For making me constantly pierce my skin with metal.
For making me count when I hate math.

For making my purse heavier than it need be.
For taking away my freedom.
For denying me the right to win this battle.
For making me violate my body just to stay alive.
For the pain and discomfort I always feel.
For letting everyone get half way through their meal before I even start mine.
For the jealousy I feel towards non-diabetics.
For making me want to cry.
For not allowing me to be normal.
For not letting me jump into the pool, have spur of the moment sex or wear what I want.
For requiring my attention every minute of every day for the rest of my life.
For making me responsible for passing on this gene.
For the weight gain when my diet hasn’t changed for 23 years.
For making me deal with insurance bullshit daily.
For making it so difficult for people to understand.
For causing me to be afraid of growing old.
For the exhaustion of living my life.
For fueling my anger.
For making me control something I have no control over.
For ravaging my body.

I typically am not a negative person. In fact, I am an eternal optimist. I have no doubt that this disease will not dominate me, define me, destroy me nor deflate me. It won’t. I am happy because I intend to live every day to the fullest in spite of diabetes. This disease may take my body but it will not take my heart & soul.

However, I’m also a realist and on those days, it’s a struggle to remain hopeful. So, if I don’t act, say or do the things that you think I should, why not give me a break? I happen to be struggling with things much bigger than you can imagine. It's just one of those days.



  1. Yay for more freedom with the Omni!! Still less spontaneous, but you can still swim for up to like 30 min. Yay

  2. Thank you so much for this post! Of course I understand that I am not the only one who feels this way but to read it word for word almost right out of my own head was pretty amazing. Great work :)

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