If you haven't seen all my maniacal rantings on Facebook & Twitter, then you aren't aware that my daughter & I are moving to Seattle in June. To have the idea of doing something & actually doing it are two completely different things. I have been saying I wanted to move to Seattle for a while now. I had big dreams, visions and hopes of a happier, healthier me. It was fun to say & thrilling to dream.
Last week, that dream became a reality and it scares the shit out of me.
I was laid off on Thursday. I thought it was coming, then it didn't, then it did. BAM! Like a surprise slap across the face. Talk about your emotional rollercoaster. Blood sugar rollercoaster, too, I might add. It was such a shock and I'm still, days later, reeling.
The worst fear about being laid off and having a chronic disease is not having benefits. Unemployment pays $325 a week. Diabetic supplies are $3000-$5000 a month. Those numbers just don't cut it. I suck at math and still know I can't swing it. This goes out to all the haters of the new health care reform. To you it's just about money, to me it's about life. Without my medication, there will be no me. True story. So, to not have, or to lose, the ability to have coverage is earth shattering in my world.
The saddest thing about being laid off and moving is leaving Doc B. After all these years as a Diabetic, I finally found the perfect doctor for me and I have to leave him. Booo! At my last appointment, I asked him about Seattle. He said that it was the perfect place to be a Diabetic. That Seattle had some of the greatest doctors in the country and was on the cutting edge of research. This immediately lifted my hopes of a better life.
Hmmm...maybe McDreamy could be my new Endocrinologist....if McDreamy were, in fact, an Endocrinologist. Sigh.
Another sad thing is leaving JDRF Las Vegas Chapter. I have had a JDRF Walk team; 'Insulin: Shaken Not Stirred', for several years. We always do really well in donations and always have a great time. Joyce Conroy is this amazing woman who does so much for JDRF. I'm going to miss having a friend who believes in the same cause I believe in and works for the organization I fight for. I'll miss the walk this year. At least the Vegas Walk. Booo! Hopefully, my team will continue without me. I'll have to make contact with the JDRF Seattle Chapter once I get settled in. Maybe I can start 'Insulin: Shaken Not Stirred Deux'. We shall see.
I think I'm going to call Doc B and ask him to double up on my med prescription so I can stockpile some supplies. It would be great to have a couple month's saved up, just in case. Because I don't know when I will be hired or if I'll have to wait 3 months before eligible for benefits. Where's Obama when you need him?
Worst case scenario, I'll forgo the pump and hop back on the injection train. This is the less desirable thing for my care but it's the most cost effective. I do have tons of syringes in my garage. I must look like a deranged drug addict to anyone driving by. Since being on the pump I have had stellar A1C's. When I was shooting up, my A1C's were crap. I also have to ask Doc B what my old doses were. I have no memory. Sigh. Just another thing to add to my ever increasing 'To Do List'.
What else? I'm just rambling, I know. I can't get my mind calm or organized this week. I'm all over the place like a damn pinball machine. My apologies and thanks for sticking with me. Ok. I'm off to go be unemployed.