Thursday, August 5, 2010

Patient 69.

I have been wearing a pump for two years now. I think it's been two years. I'm not sure...I lose track. Before that I spent 24 years shooting up anywhere from 2 to 10 times per day. What makes me curious is that after 24 years of treating my Diabetes a certain way, then switching to another way, is that I forget the original. I forgot how much Lantus I take, I forgot how much Novolog I take, I forgot how much I hate being pricked, I forgot how much I hate math.

I forget. A lot.

Do any other Diabetics have trouble remembering things?

I've been wondering about Diabetes and my brain lately. I smoked a lot of weed back in the late 80's and early 90's. I'll admit it. I've never hid my drug addiction and never will. I had just found out I was a Type 1 Diabetic when I started really smoking. Add a chronic disease to all the other teen angst and I'm surprised I survived at all. While the latest trend is medical marijuana, I can't help but wonder if that effected my memory. Being a stoner, while being responsible for having some of the best times of my life, may have altered my brain power just a bit.

However, I think Diabetes has totally ruined my mind. I have trouble remembering things that happened prior to becoming a doobie smoker! Has all of the low bs episodes I've had throughout my life destroyed my hippocampus?

In addition, when my blood sugar drops, I sometimes think I am losing my mind. I mean literally insane. I believe that how I feel during a low bs is exactly how a crazy person must feel and think. It's total out of control lunacy.

Today I was just crazy. Nuts. My mother drives me crazy sometimes. She creates scenarios and ideas based on things that don't exist. I think the reason is because she doesn't understand my sense of humor. Therefore, whatever I say in jest is taken personally even if it wasn't directed to her, which it never is. Then I get angry because I have an anger control problem and Boom. Crazy ensues.

I must be a magnet for women who are bonkers because I've been surrounded by them lately. Every. Where! I don't understand why I can't be surrounded by gorgeous, intelligent men instead.

The stress of all this crazy caused my blood sugar to drop to the point where I was literally in tears wondering and struggling with the idea that I was the crazy one.

I am not crazy.

I'm not. In fact, I'm so in touch with reality that it's virtually impossible for me to go mad. But, here I was, asking my daughter if I was insane. My blood & oxygen starved brain, for a moment in time, thought I was like Leonardo DiCaprio in Shutter Island.

So, those are my two questions fellow PWD's.

Do you have memory issues?

Do you have insanity issues?

I would love your feedback!

Oh...and PS...yes, NOW I am talking about you. This is your chance to legitimately behave poorly.



  1. I'm always forgetting what insulin I JUST took, and couldn't remember any of it unless I wrote it down at the time or someone reminds me. Must be diabetes. Must be... Wait. Who the heck are you, and why am I writing this comment.... Oh. Never mind. Just keep swimming.

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