Sunday, June 21, 2009

Blueberry Muffin Top

I was introduced to my insulin pump approximately 3 months ago. Her name is Chloe. She is a green Cozmo pump who helps me live my life. It must be known that Chloe and I have a love/hate relationship. I was anti-pump for a long time, preferring to stick with the traditional and only way I knew how to stay alive. The change was daunting….but I eventually succumbed to the hopes of having a longer, healthier life. So far, so good. My A1C hasn’t changed in 6 months. 6.8 is a number I can be satisfied with. Especially since I’m the world’s worst diabetic. Psh.

I have a lot of issues about being diabetic. Hence..the blog. This will help me vent and possibly improve my issues. Haha! We’ll see. The current problem I am having is that I have serious placement issues. The simplest, easiest to access, spot for Chloe to hang out is on my stomach. Insertion doesn’t hurt as much in the fluffy areas. I knew I had achieved this muffin top for a reason! However, after 3 months of abuse, my stomach is now beat to shit. What used to be my favorite body part is now fluffy AND marked up. I literally have a blueberry muffin top.
I have tried to have Chloe live on my thighs or ass..only to rip her out in one fail swoop while peeing. Ooops. I have also tried placing her on my arms but get all tangled up in the wire. I have tried on my upper back/chest but can’t stand the bra bulk. I’m at a loss. What do they say? Location, location, location. I’m running out of real estate.

I know there are little, ugly contraptions that would allow Chloe to live on my calf or thigh comfortably but sheesh. I want freedom! ::insert William Wallace scene here:: It’s bad enough that I’m a cyborg with Chloe & the CGM stuck all over my body. I don’t want to also have some awful, elastic thing sucking my guts out.

So, I need to concentrate on three things.

1. New refreshing, anti painful pump placement locations.
2. New, more clever and smart design for Chloe.
3. A name for my CGM.

Argh!! I just remembered a fourth.

4. A sassy, fun and insulin pump friendly clothing line.

Where's Heidi Klum when I need her?!

Suggestions welcome.


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