Sunday, June 21, 2009

Wacky Wednesday

So, I was trying to think of blog ideas pertaining to diabetes. I mean, how much can you talk about a chronic disease before people go ‘Uhhhh..yea! We got it!’ Once in a while I have to break it up. Sprinkle a few giggles around the serious topic of being insulin challenged. Since I went random on my latest entry at The Lying, The Bitch & The Wardrobe, I thought I’d go random here. Welcome to ‘Wacky Wednesday’.

A. Bret Michaels is a douche. First of all, Bret….’look what the cat dragged in’. You are like 100 years old so cut the thinning blonde wisps you call hair already. Evolve. It’s no longer 1986. Second, true love isn’t found with a pocketful of scantily dressed dumb ass women. Sorry, sunshine, ‘every rose has its thorn’. Third, you are a diabetic!!! Maybe you got knocked in the noggin at the Tony Awards because karma also noticed you were a douche. You are in the public eye…for what it’s worth…so why not try setting a decent example for kids who have diabetes. I mean, you are not setting any other good examples so why not give them ‘something to believe in’? To say you don’t take insulin and ‘endanger your own life to pleasure a woman’ makes me want to punch you in the baby maker. Also, I highly doubt you ‘rock any love’ with the amount of bragging you do. To read more douchebaggery, pick up the July issue of Elle magazine. To read hypocrisy at it’s finest, check this out:
'Hi. My name is Bret & I'm a douche.'

B. As a diabetic, I wonder what it would be like to date a fellow diabetic. I wonder if it would be a good thing or a bad thing. I think it would be good because they would know exactly what you were going through. They would be one of the very few who understood 100%. They would also know how to handle things in any scenario. I think it woulbd be bad because what if you both experience low bs at the same time! What then?!?! I can’t even imagine the scene of 2 low diabetics. Wow….. I also wonder what it would be like to date a doctor. Good because they would know exactly what to do in any health emergency. Bad because they would sneer, lecture and 'tsk tsk' every time you bolused so you could eat a cupcake.

C. Why do doctors make appointments? I seriously don’t understand. Every one has experienced the waiting room. Yes..waiting…forever…and a day. You make an appointment to see your doctor at 3pm. 4:30p rolls around and they call you in. Why not just make the appointment for 4:30p then? I don’t understand. Or, why not call to check in at your scheduled time and then show up at the office an hour later. You could run a few errands, grab some lunch, clean the house and be on time to see the doctor. Hint for any Dr's reading this's disrespectful.

D. I also don’t understand why health insurance doesn’t cover matters regarding your health. I know it takes some effort to consider every case on an individual basis but when it’s regarding a person’s health, I think the effort should be made. Thanks to my shitty gene pool stick, I have severe periodontal disease. Basically, my teeth are falling out. I mean Yay! that if something has to go, it’s my teeth. I’ve got to be glad my feet and kidneys are ok. But, dental insurance is whining and will only cover about $1000 of a $35,000 bill. Seriously? I’m not getting new teeth just to look pretty, a-holes. I’m getting them so I can eat. Psh.

E. I get phantom vibrations and wonder if anyone else does. I think between Cozmo and my phone, my body has gone insane. I will be sitting at my desk, not eating so I didn’t bolus, phone is on my desk and I will feel a vibration on my thigh. I will be driving down the road and same thing. Several times a day this happens. I mean, some vibrations are good..wink wink…but these are just odd. Maybe I'm in the process of being kidnapped by aliens. Yay!

F. Why do we, as diabetics, feel like naughty children when we cheat? I mean, we could do everything text book perfect for our entire lives and still die from diabetic complications. So, why not say ‘Eff you, diabetes!’ and eat that cupcake. Correct it after your enjoyment. Life is meant to be enjoyed from beginning to end. Why must diabetes steal that from us? Personally, I don’t let it. If this disease is going to be my demise, I will go down with a BLUEBERRY Pancake cupcake from
a>Retro Bakery in my hand. (I said banana pancake before...must have been listening to Jack Johnson. teehee) Take that diabetes!! Plus, I won’t feel guilty about it either. Diabetics deserve to have their taste buds occasionally sugared.

F.5 I want one or both of these t-shirt’s. You, too, can have them. Just click
HERE or HERE and pay. Oh, and buy me one, too, please.Mmmmkthx.


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