I'm in the process of engaging in a Diabetes Treaty. My D & I have not been friends lately and, quite frankly, it's all my fault.
I have piled on 9 months of stressful bs and my bs has paid dearly for it. Most recently, my relationship has been the stress inducer. Typically I lead a serene, calm, peaceful life full of laughter. My home life is quiet, my social life is fun and my health reaps those benefits. I worked long and hard to achieve the lifestyle I maintained. Until recently.
I've dealt with some of the top stressful situations one can deal with in their lives. Let's go in order. Job loss. Thus causing medical benefit/care loss, thus causing salary loss, thus causing home loss, thus causing the 2nd stressor. Moving. I packed up & headed to Seattle only to pack up and head to NY. Thus causing money loss, 'stuff' loss, comfort loss, safety loss and hello #3. Relationship. What a nightmare. Granted, I was feeling supremely weak, beaten & lost. I shouldn't have expected someone to save me or take care of me. But...I did...and he didn't. Thus causing money loss, sleep loss, time loss, family loss, friend loss, love loss, health loss.
My body gave out. I was done. Mentally, physically, emotionally. I had low bs 4 nights in a row one week. That NEVER happens. My daughter had to bust out the Glucagon. Holy crap on a cracker. The last time I was desperately in need of life via Glucagon was when I was in Ireland and my bs dropped to a 7. Hello, coma. I saw myself heading down the straight & narrow path to that end result. Danger! Danger, Will Robinson!!
I did what I needed to do. Began purging my life of the negative, chaotic, dramatic, stress inducing existence that I had somehow allowed myself, in a moment of weakness, to fall into. Head first.
Well, now that I'm the 'bad' guy, I'm the 'healthy' guy. Why is that anyway? Someone always has to be the bad guy. We are adults. Can't we just end a relationship, no fault, simply because it isn't working? Nope. However, this stress path has been closed for construction so blame all you want. I don't care. Why don't I care? Nooo...not because I am mean, heartless, cold and a nasty to the core bitch. Because my health, my happiness, my life is far more important than anyone else. The life I create & provide for my daughter is far more important. The fact that I am sleeping, smiling, breathing and nearly stress free is far more important.
It's a new year and and an old me. I've found my positive energy, I've found my hope and I've found my funny. My goals for the 1st quarter of 2011 - new job, new apt, new boyf - in that order and all wonderful. ;)
Many people don't realize how stress affects a Diabetic. Stress affects everyone, to be sure, I'm not taking that away from the healthy. But, it's a deadly combination for Diabetics. Now that I have experience in the subject, I can voice an opinion on it. Relax. Breathe. Exercise. Take care of what you can control. Learn to cope with the things you cannot. Most of all, laugh a little. Your health is worth it. You are worth it. I am worth it.
So, Diabetes, I hereby entreat to you the realization that our relationship is first. If we have a good working, functioning relationship full of communication and respect, I can have the same with others. I let you down, I abused you, I ignored you, I pretended you weren't there and I apologize. I promise to relax and get back into your good graces. I've already started and look how well we've been getting on?
I promise to put you, ie: my health, first & foremost. Pinky promise. Because without my health, I have nothing.