Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Eat My Words.

One of the things I dislike about being a Diabetic is eating. I am not a big eater. It's not that I don't like to eat. I do. I love food. I mean, seriously, have you seen the size of my ass?

It's not that I have an eating disorder either. Never have, not even as a teen, because I've always loved my body image. I realize what 'too thin' is and I'm not a fan. Women should have curves. Women should not look like 12 year old boys. Plus, I hate to throw up so that would never be an issue with me.

It's just that most of the time I am not hungry. I could go an entire day without eating if I had that option. But....I don't. As a Diabetic, I have to eat. Technically...6x per day. Breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack. Gah. I feel like I'm constantly shoving food into a mouth that isn't hungry. However, with the constant supply of suggested insulin being pumped into my body, not eating can cause serious problems. Let's say...a coma, for example. No bueno.

Having to force feed myself has robbed me of the joy of eating. Very rarely do I eat for pleasure. Eating has become something I have to do. I realize that living things have to eat. I get that. Somehow it's different for me.

I never want to eat when my sugar is low. Isn't that a hoot? It is literally a chore for the people in my life to get me to eat at a time when eating is a must. On the flip side, I always want to eat when my sugar is high. Ahhh....such is my D-life.

Usually, I'm eating to keep up with the insulin being delivered to my body and that a chore for me. Taking note of serving size, carbs, secret sauces, ingredients, blah blah blah. Nightmare. Takes all the fun out of a meal. Not to mention, all the steps in order to eat have me being the last one to begin and, then, the food is cold.

Yay. It's exhausting. Being a Type 1 Diabetic is exhausting....on every level.

So, I'm a Diabetic who doesn't like to eat. Probably for the same reason I don't like orange juice. It's just all medicine to my sugary brain.


Note: For anyone struggling with an eating disorder, you are not alone, please check out this site for assistance: National Eating Disorders

1 comment:

  1. Hi Kelly, me too! I'm type 1 x 30 years and I hate it too--not hungry when low, starving, literally, when high. I once read, and can't find it since, that insulin diminishes the appetite. I believe it. I think it works like this, normally the body would only release insulin with food in the stomach, so why have hunger pains if the body thinks food is already there due to the insulin already being there....hmmmm... hard to explain, definitely true. Hang in there. I feel for you! XO