Thursday, January 3, 2013

Dedicated To The Ones I Love.

Today I read a few comments that were posted from an old entry of mine...Cult of Personality
Sometimes, when I write, it's basically like mind diarrhea.  Everything cultivates in my head and when I sit down to write, it all comes spewing forth.  Because of this, I rarely take the time to read what I have written or think about what I have written because I've released it.  This probably doesn't make sense to any one who isn't a writer.  Our brains are mysterious.

After reading the comments, having my eyes fill with tears and reading my post with more clarity, I realized that I have neglected to take notice, show gratitude and give thanks to those who are in my life.  I have been a T1D for 27 years.  There have been a lot of people I owe these things and more to. A lot.

Loving a T1D isn't an easy task.  It is a rocky, windy, bumpy, icy, slippery when wet, long ass road.  It is a road that many people weren't given the option of traveling down...but they found themselves in the drivers seat.  It is a road that many people do choose to travel down....and sometimes they probably regret getting in that car....but they do get in. Everyone behind that drivers seat is taken for one hell of a ride.

In no particular order, I owe the following thanks, gratitude, acknowledgement and gratefulness.

Amanda, Fran, Abe, Jenna, my dad, Jeannie, Dickie, Aunt Donna, Heidi, Laurie, Shesh, Ted, Tami, Elisa, Steph, Laura, Jill, Tom, Andrea, Nancy, Gary, Erik, Eileen, Bill,  a handful of ex's, especially the ex who broke up with me after an episode where I couldn't walk, the waitresses and waiters at many restaurants, the guy in the middle of the road, the people at the Ulster County Fair, the people in public restrooms, the people in line for the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disney, the people watching Fantasia at Disney, the cop I punched, the paramedic I asked if he was gay, the thousand other cops and paramedics who have 'met' me, the homeless person whose ass I wanted to kick, the neighbor kid who saw me crawling out from under my garage door covered in blood, my neighbors, my co-workers, the convenience store workers, the grocery store workers, the people in the 6 car pile up, the employees at the Ireland hotel....

My gawd.  27 years of being a Diabetic makes for a lot of people helping me to stay alive.  I can't remember them all.  There's simply too many.  So, as a whole and in it's entirety, thank you to anyone who has dealt with me during my lows and my highs.  Who forced me to eat when I refused.  Who took hits, slaps, pushes, punches, tears, threats, screams, insults and verbal abuse.  Who held me up, helped me walk, who wiped my tears, vomit and spit, who hugged me when I didn't deserve it, who talked me through and kept me from falling.  For allowing me to vent, cry, weep at the unfairness.  To be scared, angry and upset at my future.  To not really understanding but trying very hard to.

To everyone, for everything, over the years.  Thank you. For all the things I remember and all the things I've forgotten, thank you. I would not be here without you and that is the truth.



  1. Amen, Kelly.

    And I totally get the whole "mind diarrhea" thing too.

  2. I can totally understand you, as I am a dibetic for 24 years now since age 6. Hold on I also have the uos and downs yeah its a rolercoaster. Wishing you lots of ease and a great one.

  3. Love you my friend, wish I could make things better for you, you deserve only the best! xoxo